Dear Fatherless Daughter

denna babul
Dear Fatherless Daughter,

I have been thinking a lot about you with Father’s Day coming around the corner. I can imagine the pain evoked out of nowhere when you are sitting on the sofa watching your favorite show, and a little girl appears on the screen carrying a handmade card to a father who is opening up his arms to her. I know this vision can still bring you to your knees. You miss the man he was or wish he could have been. Father’s Day can be not just a reminder, but a blatant white flag of what you have had to endure and give up along the way. You did not ask for this. It was not what you have chosen, yet still, you have had to pick up the pieces.

What I know for sure is his loss will break you. There will be parts of you; you may never get to know. There will be things taken from you before you even had a chance to see the hole they will cause in your heart. You will go through life initially, not knowing their impact. You will experience anger and sadness that even you can’t completely understand. The pain will continue to mount until one day you fall so deep into that hole that all you see is darkness. I know because I have been there.

Then, because you are a fighter and have had to fight for so long, you will decide you want to come out of that hole. You will dig and scratch without asking for help because you are used to going it alone. Perhaps because you have had to do it that way for as long as you remember or as a result of the pain, you don’t trust the hands that are reaching out to you. Never the less you will start to want to get better.

At some point, maybe after staying in the hole too long, or falling back in too many times, you will finally allow someone to help you. You will learn that there are people out there that love you. You will start to look beyond the ghost of that father figure and begin to see the love that has been surrounding you along the way in the forms of stand-in fathers, friends, loved ones, and maybe even co-workers.

You will begin to grow from the pain and accept the love around you. You will allow others to help, and with that, you will turn your pain into power. You will start to let go of some of the sadness and replace it with the light that others are offering you, but only when you are genuinely ready to see it.

You are a powerful woman. You will learn this at a perfect divine time in your life because every journey is different. You will not only survive, but you will also thrive my sister. You were meant to let go of the pain you carry.

You are here for a bigger purpose.

One day you will experience the freedom from the sadness. No matter where you are on your fatherless journey, always remember, you are loved.
You have a sisterhood.
We support you.
We honor where you are and encourage you to keep going.
It does get better.
You will find the love you deserve.
Your life will be full of happiness and fulfillment.
Just believe in the possibilities.
You, my friend, are endless.

xoxo,
Denna