Who Wore The Biggest Earrings?

Atlanta & Company Shenanigans

We ALAWAYS have a blast on Atlanta & Company. This was during a commercial break where we all noticed we each had on BIG earrings! On this day we discussed the Royal Wedding and family drama. We all have it. Lot’s of laughs and always a good time with these ladies.

EDIN Celebrity Dance Challenge

Edin Celebrity Dance Challenge

 

We had an absolute blast dancing in the EDIN Network Celebrity Dance Challenge. Thanks to many amazingly giving people the 7 couples who danced help raise 100k for this beautiful charity. Almost 20% of fatherless women said they, too, suffered from an eating disorder while on their journey through fatherlessness. It was an empowering night. Visit myedin.org to learn more.

Beyond Fatherless Conference

Beyond Fatherless Conference

If you are fatherless or love someone who is, join us June 14-16th in Atlanta for the inaugural Beyond Fatherless conference. Go to www.BeyondFatherless.com to register. I will be speaking about how to transform and reconcile your difficult past into a thriving future.

Even the Royals Have Family Drama

Even Royals Have Family Drama

Photo courtesy of TMZ

Wedding Season is upon us…and even the royals have drama!

If you are like me, you feel sorry for Meghan Markle. She and her father have been somewhat estranged for last 12 years per the reports.

She, like all fatherless daughters, probably wants the fairytale. I am sure she wanted her father to walk her down the aisle. It is unfortunate that under the current circumstances he will not be able to do so.

My advice to her and any fatherless daughter during wedding season is to not let the actions of others take away from your special day.

If you are getting married this season and are fatherless here are a few pointers:

-Allow your day to be surrounded by love. Don’t invite or feel like you have to invite anyone who may make you feel less than loved. You deserve one day to be just about you.

-Let everyone know who or what is off limits to be discussed around you during your special day. You should focus just on that amazing fiancé of yours.

-Choose a gutsy friend to be your gatekeeper. If that Uncle who likes to drink too much starts to get out of hand, give your friend instructions on how to excuse him from the festivities.

-Take some time to talk to your fiancé and his family about any concerns you may have about your family. Getting it all out in the open will free your mind and let you enjoy the day.

-In today’s world it is acceptable to walk yourself down the aisle, have a friend, or even have your mother do the honors. Don’t fret. We make our own rules.

-If your father is deceased, decide how and if you want to honor your father. Perhaps you write a sentiment in your wedding program or dance with your brother for the father-daughter dance. Some brides choose to forgo the dance all together. There are no rules, it is your day!

What is most important is you have found your soul mate. You waited a long time for your fairytale. Make sure you protect it. Don’t let your past have a front seat in your happily ever after.

P.S. Yes! My alarm is set for 5am eastern on Saturday!

An Alienated Father’s Story

An Alienated Father’s Story

 

Hello,

 

I want to tell my story in effort for people to understand one of the reasons why we may have a problem with Fatherhood in America.  Are we sending mixed signals about how we value fathers?  If society doesn’t actually value fathers, why do we expect fathers should value themselves?

The day my son was born was the happiest day of my life.  I was married at the time.  I was as completely involved as a man can be in the pregnancy and was the first parent to hold our son.  My world changed completely.  I worked, changed diapers, got up in the middle of the night, held him when he was sick, and fed him just like mom did.  Four years later my amazing daughter was born.  I was no different with her.  As they got older I went to school events, parent teacher conferences, coached soccer, and went to other sporting events.  I was as involved in their life as a parent could be and never gave a thought that I didn’t want to be that parent.  It came natural to me.

As time went on, however, I started hearing little rumors about my wife.  Things I didn’t want to believe, and there were signs I was ignoring.  She was also getting very mean to me and the kids.  I don’t want to get into this too much, but let’s just say there is no married person who should ever stay in marriage like I was in.  It was horrible and it was abusive.  When I finally let myself look for the signs, the things my wife were doing were very bad.  My ex-wife has changed a lot over the years, she is a good mom now, but she was not at the time. 

When I told my now ex-wife I wanted a divorce, that really put her over the edge.  This isn’t something you do to her without payback.  She would make me suffer.  She wanted me broke, and alone without my kids.  Her goal was to make me suffer.

I had no criminal record, plus a history of being an equally involved dad.  I also had a secure job that I had been at for many years.   She had nothing on me that would suggest I shouldn’t be an equal parent.   Her tool box against me was empty.  My tool box, however, was full of things that could prove my wife was not being a very good parent.  I thought she had the ability to be a good parent, but she needed to change her ways.

I contacted a lawyer and told him about the things my then wife was doing, and that I wanted to file for divorce.  I told him it may be best for me to have full-placement of my kids.  He simply said, thing do seem bad, but you will go bankrupt.  The Family Courts will not give you full-placement unless there is major proof of child abuse.  Just being a crappy mom isn’t enough.  I had to drop it because all I could prove is she just wasn’t a very good mom at the moment.  But I still wanted my kids half the time because I always had been an equal parent.  My kids needed me, just as much as they need their mom. 
At the same time my then wife talked to a lawyer.  Things went very different for her.   For her, all she needed to be was a mother, and she deserved to have full-placement of our kids if she wanted. That was it.  It didn’t matter if she had been a crappy mom recently.  It didn’t matter if I was an equally involved dad, she was the mother, thus she deserves to have full-placement.  Period, end of story.
You know what, she was right.  If mom wants full-placement, dad better be ready for a real legal battle because she is mom.  I was a second-class parent. 
I went through pure hell and went bankrupt fighting just to be an equal parent. Every-time there was a court hearing or anything, I was under the spot light.  I was the one everyone was focused on.  It was never mom.  It was 100% about me as a dad.
It took a year and a half to finalize the divorce.  I was bankrupt and a broken man.  But I won.  I won the ability to continue being an equal parent. I won 50% placement of my own kids.  I will never forget how I felt that day.  I was broken, but happy.
Two years later she tried it again, and again I was beat up in court.  But again, there was no reason I shouldn’t be an equal parent, so I won again. 
 
If I had not been married to mom, wasn’t as involved in my kid’s life, if I didn’t have money for a lawyer, didn’t have a good job, worked too long of hours, if I had the slightest blemish on my record I would have lost.  I had to be perfect, or I would have seen my kids 4 days a month at best.  Mom didn’t need a good job, she could have problems galore, yet she was never worried should wouldn’t at least see her kids half the time.  She lost in her eyes, but she didn’t actually loose. 
Think of this now, a single mom can walk out of a hospital with full-placement, and full-custody of her child.  No questions, and no need for a lawyer.  If a dad wants to be part of his child’s a life he must prove he should be in the Family Courts even to have 4 days a month with his own child.  If he wants to be an equal parent, he needs $5,000 to give to a lawyer upfront just to start the legal battle.  How many young dads have that kind of money to just give away?  Plus, mom can just move away from dad, and that is the end of equal placement.  
Being a dad in the Family Courts feels like your time is unwanted, and unneeded.  Only your money matters to them.  Your time means little.  What message does this send to dad’s, and to their children?  What message does it send when this is rarely even talked about in society?    
After 50+ years of forcing dads to be part-time visitors at best to their kids, it seems some fathers sadly get the message we have sent to them.  They don’t think that they are needed either.  It’s very sad.
 
 
 

The Ladies of Hollywood: Power Trio

The Women of Hollywood

 

I was literally glued to this panel from the front row. Marti Noxon (writer, producer), Amanda Brugel (actress), and Jameda Jamil (actress) were full of knowledge, power, sass, and fortitude.

I can’t explain to you the energy that exuded from the stage while I listened to these women talk about their carft. Their passion was electrifying. Each were generous with their failures, insecurties and dreams reminding us that we were all capable of so much more alone and together.

California always gives me life, but the Girlboss rally gave me so many more dreams to aspire to. Watch out Hollywood!

Girlboss!

Sophia Amoruso

 

What a delight to meet Sophia Amoruso this weekend in LA. She is the epitome of a survivor! We are also twining in the name game. Her mother’s name is Denna and my daughter’s name is Sophia. Must be cosmic.

I never tire if seeing women on the top of their game. She created NastyGal out of an Ebay store, dealt with bankruptcy, went through a divorce only to create something even more powerful in Girlboss.

She is a walking reminder that there is more than one BIG thing in our lives. When you fall down you get back up. When you belive in yourself you can create anything. She is pure power.

Goop!

Goop!

This weekend I was in the front row of the @girlbossrally in LA where I got to listen to Gwyneth Paltrow talk about starting her company… Goop! She is obviosuly beautiful, but her business game is where it is really at. She is full of spunk, oozing with charisma and taking the business world by storm. I left feeling extremely inspired and reminding myself to get back to doing the Tracey Anderson method. Her legs were insane!