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Dear Fatherless Daughter

denna babul
Dear Fatherless Daughter,

I have been thinking a lot about you with Father’s Day coming around the corner. I can imagine the pain evoked out of nowhere when you are sitting on the sofa watching your favorite show, and a little girl appears on the screen carrying a handmade card to a father who is opening up his arms to her. I know this vision can still bring you to your knees. You miss the man he was or wish he could have been. Father’s Day can be not just a reminder, but a blatant white flag of what you have had to endure and give up along the way. You did not ask for this. It was not what you have chosen, yet still, you have had to pick up the pieces.

What I know for sure is his loss will break you. There will be parts of you; you may never get to know. There will be things taken from you before you even had a chance to see the hole they will cause in your heart. You will go through life initially, not knowing their impact. You will experience anger and sadness that even you can’t completely understand. The pain will continue to mount until one day you fall so deep into that hole that all you see is darkness. I know because I have been there.

Then, because you are a fighter and have had to fight for so long, you will decide you want to come out of that hole. You will dig and scratch without asking for help because you are used to going it alone. Perhaps because you have had to do it that way for as long as you remember or as a result of the pain, you don’t trust the hands that are reaching out to you. Never the less you will start to want to get better.

At some point, maybe after staying in the hole too long, or falling back in too many times, you will finally allow someone to help you. You will learn that there are people out there that love you. You will start to look beyond the ghost of that father figure and begin to see the love that has been surrounding you along the way in the forms of stand-in fathers, friends, loved ones, and maybe even co-workers.

You will begin to grow from the pain and accept the love around you. You will allow others to help, and with that, you will turn your pain into power. You will start to let go of some of the sadness and replace it with the light that others are offering you, but only when you are genuinely ready to see it.

You are a powerful woman. You will learn this at a perfect divine time in your life because every journey is different. You will not only survive, but you will also thrive my sister. You were meant to let go of the pain you carry.

You are here for a bigger purpose.

One day you will experience the freedom from the sadness. No matter where you are on your fatherless journey, always remember, you are loved.
You have a sisterhood.
We support you.
We honor where you are and encourage you to keep going.
It does get better.
You will find the love you deserve.
Your life will be full of happiness and fulfillment.
Just believe in the possibilities.
You, my friend, are endless.

xoxo,
Denna

New Book Alert: The Truth About Men by Devon Franklin

The Truth About Men
This past weekend I had the distint pleasure of meeting Devon Franklin on Atlanta & Company and agian later at his book signing for his new book, “The Truth About Men.” Have you ever met someone and instantly felt connected like you had known them your entire lives? Well, that is how it felt meeting Devon. He is as genuine as they come, and a self made powerhouse! He is also a fatherless son which was a big part in him wanting to write this book. After coming to terms with both his dad’s untimely death and infidelity… he wondered, do all men cheat? He set out to write a book to encourage both men and women on what it is to give and receive the love from a man. I have to say, he hit it out of the park. It is a must read for anyone looking for love or to love even better.

The Truth About Men
This past weekend I had the distint pleasure of meeting Devon Franklin on Atlanta & Company and agian later at his book signing for his new book, “The Truth About Men.” Have you ever met someone and instantly felt connected like you had known them your entire lives? Well, that is how it felt meeting Devon. He is as genuine as they come, and a self made powerhouse! He is also a fatherless son which was a big part in him wanting to write this book. After coming to terms with both his dad’s untimely death and infidelity… he wondered, do all men cheat? He set out to write a book to encourage both men and women on what it is to give and receive the love from a man. I have to say, he hit it out of the park. It is a must read for anyone looking for love or to love even better.

Denna’s Book of the Month

Denna’s Book of the Month

I stumbled upon this book after watching Steve Job’s comencement speech at Standford. I was looking for inspiration for a leadership course and ended up coming across his daughter, Lisa Brennan-Jobs debut memoir. Coincidenally, it was Lisa, not her father who ended up inspiring me the most. I never tire of hearing stores of women who have turned their pain into power into purpose. This is a revealing read behind the doors of her infamous father’s rise to fame and their difficult father-daughter relationship along the way. Anyone who has hoped for a better realtionship with a parent will relate to her story.

Denna’s Book Club Pick of the month!

Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief

My book club pick of the month is Claire Bidwell Smith’s latest book, “Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief.” This book has the answers to something I knew I always needed but could never figure out why. I lost my father at 13 and anxiety set in very quickly waking me up every morning to remind me that something tragic had happened to me. Although I have since learned techniques to quiet my mind and slow down my bodies fight or flight reaction, I still wake up many mornings with anxiety. As with loss, anxiety is rooted in pain and fear. Claire’s book holds the key to helping us to continue to understand what it means to grieve.

 

 

Who Wore The Biggest Earrings?

Atlanta & Company Shenanigans

We ALAWAYS have a blast on Atlanta & Company. This was during a commercial break where we all noticed we each had on BIG earrings! On this day we discussed the Royal Wedding and family drama. We all have it. Lot’s of laughs and always a good time with these ladies.

Girlboss!

Sophia Amoruso

 

What a delight to meet Sophia Amoruso this weekend in LA. She is the epitome of a survivor! We are also twining in the name game. Her mother’s name is Denna and my daughter’s name is Sophia. Must be cosmic.

I never tire if seeing women on the top of their game. She created NastyGal out of an Ebay store, dealt with bankruptcy, went through a divorce only to create something even more powerful in Girlboss.

She is a walking reminder that there is more than one BIG thing in our lives. When you fall down you get back up. When you belive in yourself you can create anything. She is pure power.

Goop!

Goop!

This weekend I was in the front row of the @girlbossrally in LA where I got to listen to Gwyneth Paltrow talk about starting her company… Goop! She is obviosuly beautiful, but her business game is where it is really at. She is full of spunk, oozing with charisma and taking the business world by storm. I left feeling extremely inspired and reminding myself to get back to doing the Tracey Anderson method. Her legs were insane!

Atlanta & Company: Different Parenting Styles

Jon and I had so much fun this week on the panel at NBC’s Atlanta & Company talking about our parenting style. WE have been together 17 years, and I am still learning from this guy. Thank God our styles compliment each other more than they divide us. Except for the fact that he is a complete puch over when it comes to my daughter! We have such a blast on the show. Watch every week day in Atlanta on NBC from 11-12 eastern.

Denna & Jon on the panel

The Top 5 Reasons Not to Give Up On Your Dreams

You may have found this post today because you are feeling exhausted, overwhelmed or maybe even lost in the minutiae of trying to have it all. You have a dream. You have a job, and perhaps you have a family. You want to be fulfilled in all aspects of your life but usually it is the dream that can get left out in the cold of an over committed life. It takes a lot of mental stamina and blind hope to keep working towards a dream when all of these things are constantly getting in your way. This is a reminder that YOU need to KEEP GOING! Read more

Add #SameTribe to your social media platforms if you want to bring awareness to fatherlessness

#SAME TRIBE

1 in 3 women have been the victim of sexual assault or harassment.

1 in 3 women are fatherless.

Although the 2 are not mutually exclusive the silence can be. In our society, women are taught to be ashamed of things that happen TO them. In the sometimes brainwashed mentality of our society we often blame the victim first. I believe this has a lot to do with why, we as fatherless daughters, tend to keep our emotions of loss, shame and guilt to ourselves when it comes to fatherlessness. We don’t want to bring attention to a) our fathers and b) our loss or abandonment. The reasons are twofold. Read more