Dear Fatherless Daughter

denna babul
Dear Fatherless Daughter,

I have been thinking a lot about you with Father’s Day coming around the corner. I can imagine the pain evoked out of nowhere when you are sitting on the sofa watching your favorite show, and a little girl appears on the screen carrying a handmade card to a father who is opening up his arms to her. I know this vision can still bring you to your knees. You miss the man he was or wish he could have been. Father’s Day can be not just a reminder, but a blatant white flag of what you have had to endure and give up along the way. You did not ask for this. It was not what you have chosen, yet still, you have had to pick up the pieces.

What I know for sure is his loss will break you. There will be parts of you; you may never get to know. There will be things taken from you before you even had a chance to see the hole they will cause in your heart. You will go through life initially, not knowing their impact. You will experience anger and sadness that even you can’t completely understand. The pain will continue to mount until one day you fall so deep into that hole that all you see is darkness. I know because I have been there.

Then, because you are a fighter and have had to fight for so long, you will decide you want to come out of that hole. You will dig and scratch without asking for help because you are used to going it alone. Perhaps because you have had to do it that way for as long as you remember or as a result of the pain, you don’t trust the hands that are reaching out to you. Never the less you will start to want to get better.

At some point, maybe after staying in the hole too long, or falling back in too many times, you will finally allow someone to help you. You will learn that there are people out there that love you. You will start to look beyond the ghost of that father figure and begin to see the love that has been surrounding you along the way in the forms of stand-in fathers, friends, loved ones, and maybe even co-workers.

You will begin to grow from the pain and accept the love around you. You will allow others to help, and with that, you will turn your pain into power. You will start to let go of some of the sadness and replace it with the light that others are offering you, but only when you are genuinely ready to see it.

You are a powerful woman. You will learn this at a perfect divine time in your life because every journey is different. You will not only survive, but you will also thrive my sister. You were meant to let go of the pain you carry.

You are here for a bigger purpose.

One day you will experience the freedom from the sadness. No matter where you are on your fatherless journey, always remember, you are loved.
You have a sisterhood.
We support you.
We honor where you are and encourage you to keep going.
It does get better.
You will find the love you deserve.
Your life will be full of happiness and fulfillment.
Just believe in the possibilities.
You, my friend, are endless.


Beyond Fatherless Conference

Beyond Fatherless Conference

If you are fatherless or love someone who is, join us June 14-16th in Atlanta for the inaugural Beyond Fatherless conference. Go to to register. I will be speaking about how to transform and reconcile your difficult past into a thriving future.

Chrissy Metz is my new #WCW

I already obcessed with the show This is Us like every other sane person in the world write now. However, I am now crushing hard on @ChrissyMetz after reading an excerpt in @People about her. Not only did she have to overcome a lot of childhood obstacles, but she also had to learn how to deal with the journey of fatherlessness while simultaneously enduring them all. She says, “hurt people hurt people” when discussing her feeling towards her stepfather in her bew book, “This Is Me.”

Her book is a MUST read for anyone who has suffered pain and learned how to turn it into power! Yasssssss girl!

Do You Want To Know Why You Are In A Love-Hate Relationship?

Are You In A Double Bind?

Are you in a love hate relationship with someone and you can’t figure out what gives? Do you feel like you are losing your mind with all of the mixed messages and wondering if you should stay or run like hell in the opposite direction? Well…there is a perfectly good term to define what is actually going on in your head and in your relationship. Read more

You May Be A Fatherless Daughter If…

You May Be Fatherless If…

  • …the only interaction you have with your father is on Facebook

…you haven’t seen your father in the last year

…if you lack an emotional bond with your father

…if he got remarried and started a new family Read more

Do You Want To Be A Fatherless Daughter Movement Mentor?

Are you a fatherless daughter, or do you love someone who is fatherless? If so, you may be the perfect mentor. Picture your favorite small group/book club with the topic being all things fatherless. You don’t need to be a just need to be someone who has been greatly affected by fatherlessness and feel lead to help. Read more

Do You Want to be a Fatherless Daughter Mentor?

I am at it AGAIN! We are ready for more mentors to join The Fatherless Daughter Movement Mentorship Program. We will have 2 ways moving forward for you to become a mentor: 1) Join us on Saturday, February 10th, 2017 in Atlanta for our next workshop or 2) You can purchase the LIVE program on line. Read more

Congrats to Our Inaugural Team of Certified Mentors for The Fatherless Daughter Movement

WE DID IT! A huge thanks to these beautiful ladies for becoming the first certified team of mentors for The Fatherless Daughter Movement! They came form as far away as the United Kingdom to take part in our program. Read more

How Do You “Do Good?”

Introducing the “Do Good” project for all you fatherless daughters that do so much good.

Let’s share the good. June 20th-July 20th we want to hear your voices.

Here is how you do it. Fill in this sentence, “I do good by ____________________.

Then tag someone and tell them how they do good.

Let’s raise our vibration and see how all of the kickass daughters in this tribe do good every single day.

Here is mine:

I do good by bringing awareness to the silent epidemic of fatherlessness and showing daughters how to turn their pain into purpose.

Dana Williams Spinola does good by free fabric which gives girls in need a chance to shop for FREE! #dogoodproject

My 10 Mantras for Fatherless Daughters on Father’s Day

Dear Tribe,

Today sucks. I get it.  If you are like me, you have been trying to avoid the pain leading up to this day on the calendar all month. It is the one-day where no matter how much you try to push the pain aside it is everywhere. You miss him. You feel like no-one else could possibly understand your pain. Well…I do.  Read more